Hello and thanks for joining me! In today’s blog I will share my simple step-by-step method for helping you as a couple to work through those difficult issues in your marriage.
For starters, postponing a discussion that has been difficult is acceptable but brushing issues under the carpet, as a means to make it disappear, will not make the issues go away. It will need to be discussed and resolved sooner or later. In order to help you succeed in your efforts, here are some suggestions on how to help that conversation along.
First, let me start with what not to do. Do not approach someone with that difficult conversation when they have just walked in the door after a long day of work. Why? Because it will not feel like a discussion to them. It will feel more like an attack. When people feel attacked they often withdraw completely and they usually have a lot more difficulty focusing on the discussion. Forcing someone to discuss an issue that is important to you is not the way to handle it. The best way to handle it is by giving someone time to prepare for the conversation. This not only will bring a sense of calmness to the discussion, but it will also be appreciated and it is beneficial to both people in the long run.
I recommend the following methods to help resolve delicate issues:
- Make an appointment with your spouse by agreeing on a specific day and time for the converation.
- Mark the calendar and be sure both people are aware of that this appointment is a priority. Ensure that you set aside enough time for the discussion so there is no pressure to resolve the delicate issue quickly.
- Prior to the appointment, pray together. Pray for your marriage and for unity on solving this issue.
- Also, prior to the appointment, read scripture on marriage, anger and the fruits of the spirit.
- Prepare for this appointment. Write down your questions and/or answers prepared, along with any concerns that you have. Think about your perspective and what you think is the perspective of your spouse. Understanding each others perspectives will be vital in finding a solution that makes both people happy.
- When the discussion day arrives and you are speaking together, feel free to take a few minute pause if the discussion gets heated. Taking a moment to breath is healthy. Don’t walk away or make split-second decisions. Take your time with the conversation.
Remember, you are two people that love each other. You both want to be happy. Be kind and loving to one another. Think of the issue as the enemy, not each other. You are a team working together to overcome this issue.
Thank you for reading I hope you find this blog article helpful.
Join me next time for “How your upbringing can impact your marriage”.