Ensuring The Good Times Outweigh The Difficult Times

Thank you for joining me again! Today’s blog is about “Making sure your good times
together, as a married couple, outweigh the not so good times”.

As I mentioned in my first blog, date night is a must. You as a married couple should have a date night once a week to go and do something special together. It is a night just for the two of you, where the main focus is on spending a wonderful romantic night together, making memories and reconnecting with one another.

A word of caution, date night is not a time to discuss any, what I call, “Red topics”. Red topics are topics that usually end up cooling down the evening. They are topics that never end well when they are discussed, and usually have the ability to cause tension for hours on end. Two things that will ruin your evening so stay away from these on your special nights out and any other time you are trying to have an enjoyable time together.

Remember, this is your time to spend reconnecting with one another. Be mindful of the importance of keeping things problem free. Remember you are in control of what transpires. Here are some suggestions on reconnecting.

  1. Put the effort into making it special. We get so involved in our everyday lives that we lose touch of nurturing our marriage relationship. This is why date night is so important as well as keeping God at the center of your marriage.
  2. Use your words. This is a time to speak encouraging loving words. We can show outward display of affections like holding hands. Be mindful of the fact that this is your time to reconnect.
  3. Find out each other’s love language. Make sure that you are showing the person you love just how much you love them by using their own love language. Find out what each of your love languages are. Visit:  https://www.5lovelanguages.com
  4. Listen carefully to each other. We can all hear someone speaking to us, but listening requires your undivided attention. There are times when we hear what people are saying but we miss out on the message because we aren’t actively listening. When we truly listen then we hear what is being said.
  5. In a rut? Try the 5 to 1 Ratio. For couples that are struggling with getting out of a rut try the 5 to one ratio; for every 1 thing you do or say wrong to your spouse, fix it by doing or saying 5 kind things. The 5 to 1 ratio is by John Gottman. This method is referred to as the “Magic Relationship Ratio”. This is one way of flushing out the memories of the bad times by adding an overflow of good gestures.
  6. One last important reminder: In all of our relationships it is always a must to remember to “forgive” when someone has wronged us. For if we forgive others our Heavenly father will also forgive us but if we don’t neither will we be forgiven.

Thanks for reading my blog. Join me again when I tell you step-by-step a solution for discussing and resolving difficult issues.

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