Family Origin and Managing Relationship Expectations

Hello and thank you for joining me again! Today’s blog is about Family Origin. So what is Family Origin? Family Origin refers to how a person was raised and the circumstances surrounding a person’s upbringing with his or her parents and siblings. Examples would include questions like:

  • What was the daily run of the house like?
  • What tasks did your mom do in the home?
  • What was your father’s contribution to the household?
  • Was he the sole bread winner of the family?
  • Who did the yard work?

The origin in which you were raised is possible for what may or may not take place in your own home once you settle down. What happens in your future home is completely up to you. Being mindful of the effects of your own “family origin” is something good to be aware of. You can choose to take the good parts and leave behind the not so good parts. It is up to you to be aware of the impact your childhood had on you and whether or not they are something you want your family to experience.

A discussion with your future spouse about each of your upbringings will help to shed light on the childhood experiences that you may want to share and even discuss the ones that you would not want to be a part of your family. Whether you were raised with both parents in your home or in a single parent home the traditions and the nontraditional moments have the ability to be brought both knowingly and unexpectedly into your future marriage/family relationship.

Managing Expectations In Your Own Relationship

Without realizing it, we often have internal expectations of our partner. A wife might assume that her husband will manage the finances and handle the trash removal from the home. A husband might assume that his wife will buy family Christmas gifts and cook for the family. Or maybe both have different expectations in how children will be raised. Having a conversation about these things is very important in order to prevent future conflict. Expectations can be dangerous, especially in our modern times where many traditional roles have changed.

Being married and having a family requires equal contribution. Contribution comes in many forms, such as:

  • Maintaining an orderly home
  • Overseeing the children
  • Financial contributions
  • Organizing family events
  • Planning future vacations
  • Cooking and cleaning
  • Home repairs and upgrades
  • Yard maintenance

We sometimes think that it’s already understood who will automatically which tasks in the home. However, when one person feels that his or her partner is lacking in contribution, it might mean that expectations are not aligned properly. Pre-marital counseling or marital counseling can help a lot with these issues.

The families we create are often similar to that of our childhood. We all have some wonderful childhood memories that we cherish. The memories of wonderful traditions that have been passed down with every generation are the ones that are so special that you promise yourself they will be a part of your own family once you marry and have children.

The impact of your “Family Origin” can be a positive part of your life passed down to your own children for years to come.

Thank you for reading I hope you find this blog helpful. Join me next time for “keeping the peace in your family throughout the year”.

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